Wednesday, February 17, 2010

#34: Overambition

Hello Blog World,
I have not forgotten you. In fact I have been hiding, in deep shame that I have not posted sooner and thereby begun a never ending cycle of not-posting.

BUT-- here I am!!

This post is about something I learned about myself the past few years, that I probably knew before but not to the extent I know now.

I am incredibly overambitious. And not in the way that is frequently associated with this word. I don't think that in the race of life I am punching everyone around me and sprinting forward. (I am imagining cartoon rabbits in my head for some reason) I am more of the runner overestimating the length of the race, how much energy I have left, how many people I can cheer for along the way and how long it will take me to finish the race. I always think I can do MORE with LESS and I have this bad habit of making plans, budgeting time, and committing myself with this in mind.

I don't think I will bore you with examples from school (or admit my problem to that extent), but needless to say it is something I have learned. Perhaps as a reprieve, I will say that I can balajavascript:void(0)nce quite a bit and feel that this talent has helped me to accomplish much and also help a lot of people along the way. However-- there is a tipping point and more than once I have fallen over it.

The past few weeks I have not been working or in school. It has been so odd-- but also refreshing. This lifestyle would take a large adjustment since I am used to a million things on my mind at once.

Sadly (or maybe not) I have found other ways to be overambitious with my time off:
Making hand dipped chocolates, homemade bread, homemade pasta, packing lunch for my husband, watching 3 boys all under age 6, quilting, making table runners and canvases for my apartment, finding the cheapest prices in Ann Arbor for much needed groceries, reading 3-4 books a week...

Yep. I am overambitious.

p.s. first ever full time job starts Monday. WOOT!
p.p.s. Being Married is wonderful. Posts of favorite wedding pics to come asap.
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