Joy, Relief, Terror, Awe

Over 2 months ago now I gave birth to a miracle - my sweet Bennett Joseph. His birth story is too much describe here and too tender - but it was absolutely the most incredible day of my life and a completely surreal experience.

Here is a photo of me and Bennett seconds after he was born. I feel like this captured the moment perfectly.

Joy. Relief. Terror. Awe. All in one moment.

I love being a mother. I am feel so grateful and privileged to be Bennett's mother. I feel overwhelmed that Heavenly Father trusts me to care for one of his sweet children.

An Eternal Family

Note: I drafted this many months ago - and never hit publish. Wanted to share anyway...

We are joyfully expecting a baby boy in early October.

I have so many thoughts I could share on this topic. John and I have been hoping and praying for this sweet babe for a long time, and we are so grateful the time is here. It never ceases to amaze me how God has such a perfect plan for our lives. We often felt frustrated or saddened during our wait. Why us? Why not now?

Now that the time is here, it feels like just the right time. I know there was a divine purpose in this timing and I am grateful for a God who loves us and knows what is best. 

As can be expected, we have a lot of anxiety and nerves coupled with all of our excitement. Will we be patient enough? Kind enough? Nurturing enough? 

I know that Heavenly Father will prepare us. We won't be perfect parents, but we will be prepared. I feel so grateful he trusts me with one of his children. 

I also know that as I fail, and I will fail at some things, that I can be renewed and start again through the power of the Savior's atonement. 

I know that families are eternal. I know  that our lives and our family relationships extend beyond this mortal existence. It brings me such peace. 

Blessings in Little Rock

I am still travelling to Little Rock 3/4 weeks a month. It looks like I will be done travelling in December, and hope to find something in Boston at that time. I miss being around John during the week, but I feel grateful for the opportunity to be in Little Rock right now.

Coming home to these kids is so fun

Instead of staying in a hotel each week, I am staying with my brother and sister in-law and their two children. I cannot tell you enough how this has made all the difference. I love coming to their home each day and hearing my sweet niece yell "Kistin!!!" Even though I am not that exciting, they both never cease to be happy to see me, it is invigorating. I love staying up late talking with my sister in law, talking finance and business with my brother and law, and getting the opportunity to go to family events. I sew with my mother in law every few weeks, and see other family frequently.

Doll making night with the family. So much fun...

It is hard to be away from John. We are both our best selves when we are together. But if we have to be apart for a little while, this is the best way to do it. I feel spoiled rotten by his family, and am so grateful for their kindness and generosity. It is such a privilege and honor to be a McElderry and to have been taken in so literally into this family.

Beautiful flowers sent from my love to cheer me up.

We try to video chat often. I think this was while John was in Belgium for work.

I also have some great colleagues, which makes travelling a lot more fun.

Couch Breaking and other East Coast Adjustments

Moving to Boston has been such an adventure. Slowly I am beginning to fall in love with this city and all of its strange oddities.

 The first two months we lived in Corporate Housing downtown -- which was a real treat and gave us time to find something more permanent while exploring the city. While we were there, it still sort of felt like a vacation, it had definitely not sunk in that this was a "move". I walked around this historic town with the song "Boston" in my head in the cool rainy spring, almost summer weather. I often laughed, because  the lyrics almost held true... "where no one knows my name...."

 We rode our bikes to Bunker Hill, went on evening walks near Paul Revere's house, got our hair cut right next to the Boston Massacre site (odd, but true!) It has been fun to be in an area with such rich history.

Finding housing was a fairly frustrating process. If you are looking for small/old/out of date housing for triple the cost of your last place, move to Boston! It was really hard to stomach. We probably looked at 25 places before making a quick decision to go with our current place. We still feel a little bit of buyers remorse at the cost -- but we are overall very satisfied with where we live and now our getting all settled in.

Once we finally moved in we realized, even with the fairly spacious place we have for Boston, none of our furniture fit! As in --  the only room we could  get our couch was our bedroom (just painted purple...only room with a closet that fits hangers...). This would mean the only room we could have as our bedroom was our living room (no closet, no door to the room....eek!)

I posted something on facebook about this and got the suggestion from a friend to look into couch breaking. And since we are adventurous (and cheap), we decided to do it ourselves. So here is our brand new couch in pieces as we got it down our narrow hallway!

Do you know the only thing holding your couch together is staples?

Arm of the couch we took off.

Even with the arm off, it barely fit in our doorway.

SUCCESS!

There was a point in the process where John and I were stuck between the couch in our narrow hallway and it seemed like there was no way it was going through. We tried numerous options for about 30 min, were sweating profusely and about to give up. Then, we decided to say a prayer. We knelt across from each other with our massive, hallway consuming coach between us and pleaded for Heavenly Father's aid. And what happened next? It was like our couch shrunk 4 inches. It went through the hall immediately without any issue.

It always amazes me how Heavenly Father is involved in the details of our lives. I have such a testimony that he hears our prayers, and is always with us. We just need to humble ourselves and ask.

Our couch is now in one piece, and already has been enjoyed by many visitors. We will have to pull apart when we move, but I think it was worth it if only for the spiritual lesson learned.

An Exciting Chicago Weekend

1. Thursday - Drive from Peoria to Chicago. Grab dinner with a friend, have your car broken into and everything inside stolen. Make it to hotel with only your wallet. Thank heaven you changed into jeans and gym shoes and out of ballet flats and a pencil skirt.



2. Friday - Run a few errands to replace some of the items stolen. Shop on Michigan ave, primarily because what else is there to do with just a wallet in downtown Chicago?



3. Friday - Meet hubby downtown, and take a subway to share delicious deep dish with some good friends.



4. Saturday - Visit the Shedd Aquarium on a beautiful day.



5. Saturday - Eat a Chicago Style hot dog. Or Two.




6. Grab dessert at the Top of the John Hancock building. Take a photo with your iphone -- from the women's bathroom!



7. Spend a beautiful Sunday driving up the cost of Lake Michigan. Listen to General Conference on aforementioned Iphone. The marvels of modern technology!



8. Visit where you were born and where you grew up.

9. Remember the important things in life aren't things. They aren't stolen luggage, ipods, clothing or laptops. They aren't damaged rental cars. They are sweet and simple memories, laughter with friends, listening to true teachings, and spending a wonderful weekend with the one you love. I am so blessed.

So Blessed :)

I just found this in my drafts folder (8/30/11)... wanted to go ahead and publish. Was from last winter (November 2010). I still feel so very blessed! And it's great to be back from my blogger hiatus!

This year I am so grateful for all the Lord has blessed me with. Here are a few blessings I have been pondering lately:

1) My Incredible Husband. I cannot say enough to describe what a thoughtful, compassionate and uplifting man he is.


2) My Family. I have grown so much closer to my mom, dad and sisters this past year. I have also gained a whole new family who I cherish so much. My new sister in laws (and mother in law) particularly have become some of my closest friends.

3) A job. I may be a little tired, and a little frustrated at times, but I am so blessed to have a job in this economy. I am learning so much and recognize that any hardship are only for my good.

4)My Education, and my love of learning. I am so grateful to have a love for reading, for critically thinking and for being interested in new ideas.

5) My friends, new and old, who listen to my struggles and encourage me to keep on going. Who play games with me and John, who challenge my mind through engaging and insightful conversation.

Most of all, I am grateful for my knowledge of Jesus Christ, Our Savior. For the knowledge that families are eternal. Recently I read the personal history of John's grandfather. I never met the man, yet feel close to him. I am grateful to know that through Heavenly Father's perfect plan and Christ's atonement we can all be together one day. Those I have love and have lost, and those I cherish on earth now will all be reunited one day.

I am truly blessed.

Joy, Patience and Blessings

I definitely should be in bed by now. But, I am feeling really grateful (joyful) and content, despite a really hectic day. So, I want to count some blessings.

1. Things are on the upswing. I have been really stressed lately with some personal stuff, and my emotional state has just been really pathetic. BUT!!! ALAS! Joy! Things are figuring themselves out just as God's perfect plan for me unfolds :)

2. Two Job offers in one day, within 10 minutes of another. WOOooH! Plans for the summer and living arrangements for next year are getting figured out. I feel so blessed to be given such great opportunities, and these offers really have solidified in my mind that I am making the right choices. (Because after hard but right decisions, blessings come pouring in sometimes!)

3. My family is in Disney World, and though I am sad not to be with them, they are together, they are celebrating, they are happy, healthy and have enough to eat. I don't think anything could be better than having my family in my life and knowing they are happy.

4. I have become much more patient than I use to be- which I think is a great blessing. I just think with maturity and focus I have grown into a little more of what I want to be. This manifests itself in situations I handle well, in which in a previous life (or past few years) I might have handled differently.

5. My room is clean (or closer!) John is amazing and helped me to clear the mass chaos that never really cleared up from earlier in the semester. It is such a blessing to be able to live here, to be able to be healthy where I live and to have peace and clarity and the spirit in my home.

6. WARM WEATHER! I think often that the sun is the smile of God. He is giving us all just a glimpse of his radiance :) What an amazing blessing.

7. I am just happy. To be where I am and where I am going. I feel like I am in a pretty good place right now. Though this may seem fleeting sometimes, no matter what the situation I get the help I need, I keep the people I care about in my life and I focus on things that matter to me. I don't think anything could really be better when this is how I focus my life :)So joyful!

Blessings :)

Hello! I want to start posting 10 blessings I have felt this week every Sunday, because I am so joyful for what the Lord has done for me- and I think it is important to share these things. So here we go, enjoy!

1. I went bowling with my family this week- this was one of the first family outings I have been on in who knows how long, and it was really fun and refreshing. Having the opportunity to be home was such a privilege and a blessing.

2. I saw the sun EVERY single day last week. Not just regular sun, but warm sun. The sun constantly reminds me of God's love for me :)

3. Today was Fast Sunday, and I gave my testimony and felt the spirit really strongly. I love being at Church and feeling a genuine nearness to my Heavenly Father. What a wonderful blessing to have the freedom to worship my Lord as I chose.

4. John helped me clean my dorm today- he is the most wonderful man in the world. And, probably one of my greatest blessings. Ay the things he puts up with for me!

5. One of my best friends got engaged last night! I am grateful for her friendship, and super excited we get to plan our weddings together :)

6. John and I are going to pick a date sometime soon (as in this week I think!) We have been feeling really stuck in molasses and devoid of progress waiting to move forward with wedding plans, so it is a great blessing to be able to move forward.

7. I spent a ton of time with both my Mom and my Dad this week. I love being with them, and I feel closer to them every time we get to talk for a long time or do something fun together. I also got to learn a lot about their courtship- which was really incredible. I am so blessed to have parents who love each other so deeply, and who love me more than I can ever understand.

8. I met up with one of my best scrapbook friends this week! She is like another mother to me, and it was so great hearing talking with her and reminiscing on all that has changed since we last saw each other. Friends are best, and some of the sweetest blessings.

9. I read 5 books this week (one a day Monday-Friday), almost completely catching me up for my English Class. And the great part- I was able to focus on them all! Yay. I read the Host (okay this was for fun), Persepolis, House on Mango St., Baltimore Blues, and Lucy. I am so blessed to have had a clear mind, and an opportunity to catch up on much needed school work.

10. I did some visiting teaching today. I just love meeting with other sisters and sharing my love for them and the gospel. It is such a great blessing to be able to serve others- and let them serve you!