#36: Mean People Suck

I was thinking today about posting and this really just stuck in my mind.


But the more I dive into this subject, I wonder-- are people really inherently mean? Do they intend to be mean in all they do, are they always mean? Sometimes I think this is true. Sometimes someone is literally always awful to me and to others I care about, which makes me lump them into this mean category. What if they think happy people suck? This is definitely not my conclusion, because I am happy and don't suck (okay, not sound evidence but this is not the point of my post)

So then--- why are they mean? Is it their countenance, their upbrining, or maybe just something going on in their life? I know nice people can act mean, heck I have a mean streak when I am angry enough. And I don't hate nice people because they act mean sometimes, I guess I just hate the meanness.

After careful consideration, I think there are no mean people, just people who act mean. This may be the idealist in me wishing, hoping and naively believing all people are good, but it is how I want to view with world so I am content.

I think there are some people who act mean frequently. Maybe theirs is a burden I will never understand, but I am sad for them nonetheless.

So I thereby edit my lesson.
#36: It sucks when people are mean.

What do you think? Do mean people existent, or do people just act mean?

#36: Never Suppress a Kind Thought

About 2 years ago I went to stake conference for my church and was counseled to never suppress a kind thought. That really struck me, because often I was filled with kind thoughts but often I let them pass. Why? Because my act of kindness might be awkward, inconvenient or even ill-received. I worried about how someone my perceive my action or how they would react. Could I muster up the courage to do it anyway?

So I took the counsel. I (for the most part, being imperfect and limited in many ways) have very intentionally acted upon the kind thoughts that enter my mind.

I was reminded of this just the other day. I walked home from school and saw someone I had once talked to who I knew was in the business school. I smiled instantly and said "Hi! How are you doing?" He looked at me like I was kind of crazy and continued walking. I just smiled and laughed. Because yeah, there are still some awkward moments, some that make you question your kindness. Those never quite go away. But then, there are in numerous moments where you did some something kind for another person, and you made their day. You may have answered their prayer, or just left a positive impression. You may have just made them smile. And that, my friends, is why you should never supress a kind though.

Oh, what joy this counsel has brought to my life. Never suppress a kind thought.

#37: How Much I Love my Family

One of my greatest realizations during college was how much I love and miss my family. I don't know why it didn't click before I left, but I really took for granted how much my family meant to me. Heck, I was excited to go at the time. But a lot of things struck me after being away from home. I missed my sisters so much. I tried to connect with them via phone or facebook, but it just wasn't the same. Sometimes I felt sad or lonely and just needed someone to talk to, and that would have been when I plopped on my moms bed and talked her ear off. Sometimes I wanted to explore nature, but I really just couldn't enjoy it as much without my dad.

Our family has gone through a lot in the past few years. I love them so much, and I hope they realize how much they mean to me. I am not always the kindest to my family. It is a hard truth that sometimes we are most cruel to the ones we love most. It is also true that often we take for granted that which we love most. I have learned both of these things in my college experience, but mostly to appreciate the the people you love, and let them know how much you care often.

This past weekend I spent with my family was incredible. I took long walks with my dad, Heather did my makeup. Lauren and I fought over covers sharing a bed, Mom and I worked on a craft together. What a perfect weekend.

How grateful I am for my family.

# 38: The system, not the people

Today I had a really interesting experience in one of my classes that made me have an AHA! moment and put some things in perspective for me.

We were doing a simulation where the class was divided into 6 departments of a company with a few people in each department. Our goal in the simulation was to maximize profit for our own department. During the game there were 10 weeks where each department had to decide to "sell" or "buy". The payout schedule was such that if every single department decided to buy, each department made $1000. However, if one department decided not to buy, it would make $5000 while every other department lost $1000. There were multiple levels of this payout depending on how many sold or bought, but the gist is you typically made more by selling . However, if everyone sold, each department lost $1000. So for you to be profitable selling, you had to make someone else lose a lot. Are you following me?

So my department decided we wanted to work for the mutual benefit (and encourage other people to all buy too, so we would all be positive and no one would lose). Time after time we were the only department to invest. Even after we had a "company wide" meeting and every single department agreed to invest, still most firms decided to "cheat" and sell thereby gaining a lot at the expense of all the other departments.

You may wonder--what the heck does this have to do with anything? Well, I was kind of bummed by this game. I felt like people were lying, cheating and otherwise only acting in self interest when playing this game. I have felt like this in a lot of other experiences, most of which were not simulations. I have felt really lonely in caring for causes greater than myself, and have even felt angst to those who didn't share in my fight.

But after discussing the simulation I realized something really important. It wasn't the people, it was the system. They were set up with an incentive system that made them act only for themselves. They were not un-ethical or wrong in doing their best for the goal laid ahead of them, the flaw was that their incentive WAS to only think of themselves.

This makes me think a lot about the work that I do, and a lot of the societal problems our country faces right now. You know, I don't really think it is because people generally are un-ethical or greedy or just plain mean. It is because the incentive system in much of society makes it that to get ahead (or our standard of ahead), often someone most only think in their short term self interest, and not in a common interest.

So how can I be upset when someone doesn't care about something as much as I do? Or someone doesn't advocate for the common good in most situations? Well, its not the person. Its the system.

I will still always be the person who invests, who tries to change the system. And I still will try to recruit every other person I can to change it with me... but in the end it may be a little while before society finally invests in its shared future. And I am okay with that.

#40: Snow Boots

No, I was not in Kansas anymore. Or Texas for that matter. During my first semester in Michigan as November crept in I began to realize something very hard to deal with, something uncomfortable, something horrid-- that my feet were always cold!

You know, southern shoes are just not made the same way northern shoes are. Albeit that most of my shoe wardrobe (shoe-drobe?) consisted of open toed shoes and sandals as appropriate in Texas, even my more hearty shoes really couldn't take the looming call of winter. I remember my mom trying to "equip" me with some shoes for the cold weather. From this quest comes the tale of my first pair of snow boots.

My Mom and I (in September mind you) were searching for snow boots and just couldnt find anything, and then a handsome fellow at the payless said he had just the idea. He rushed to the back and came out with-- nothing else but moon boots! YES! MOON BOOTS! They were big and puffy and silvery and shiny and... they were just moon boots!

Don't believe me? Check out those babies! They were the only winter boots I had most of my freshman year. Eventually I felt like such a dork (I mean so incredibly cool) that I begged my aunt to take me to the store for some new boots.

My new boots were plain and black and could be worn with everything-- but they were not my moon boots :(

Lesson Learned: Don't shop out of season, always use the proper foot wear and last but not least, moon boots are still IN!

40 days and 40 ways: A tribute to my Collegiate Experience

Today I was reflecting on the fact that I graduate from the University of Michigan in only 40 days! I have realized that so much of this experience has been of an individual nature, and that I have rarely had the opportunity to share exactly what I have been learning (or how I have been changing) since I arrived 3 and half years ago.

In celebration of my last 40 days, I plan to write daily about some tidbit of information or lesson I have learned through my college experience. This may be something I learned in a classroom, on a job, in a meeting or who knows-- in a bathroom stall. I will spend 10 entries on each year of my undergraduate experience. This will most likely not be chronological, primarily because it will be more interesting for me that way :)

I hope you enjoy, share and comment on these entries. I also hope they give you a little more insight into who I am and how I have grown.

Thanks for reading.

Kristin